I Wished To Get COVID-19 Over With, Considering It Would Really feel Like A Unhealthy Flu. I Was So Flawed.



“I simply need to get it over with.”

I admit this thought had crossed my thoughts many instances in 2020, ever since first watching the SARS-CoV-2 virus quickly spreading in China. Earlier than instances had been even reported in america, I bear in mind telling my husband that folks weren’t paying consideration. He might have thought I used to be being slightly paranoid, however as somebody with a power sickness — who on the time was debating whether or not to begin taking immunosuppressants — it felt vital to keep watch over it.

That was over a 12 months in the past, and although part of me had wished to contract the coronavirus so I may hopefully get previous it and deal with my rheumatoid arthritis (which isn’t on the federal listing of high-risk co-morbidities) with out a lot worry— nothing may have ready me for the truth of experiencing “average” COVID-19 signs for myself. 

Some folks might imagine that getting this virus is inevitable, and we’re all experiencing some main COVID-19 fatigue. In my rural neighborhood, I nonetheless recurrently hear folks proclaim that COVID-19 is a hoax or that it’s “simply the flu.”

Many argue that they don’t must comply with security protocols as a result of this coronavirus “solely impacts these with preexisting situations and the aged” (as in the event that they’re in some way expendable?). I hear folks round me specific extra worry over the vaccine than of getting COVID-19. 

These attitudes are pervasive in Utah, the place we’ve made headlines over conspiracy theorists storming hospitals, demanding entry to ICUs; mothers who comply with a code to not take a look at their youngsters for COVID-19 in an effort to maintain faculties open; and anti-mask protests

Unsurprisingly, instances in Utah have soared, and our hospitals have been at or close to capability since November.  

Although some individuals are blessed to have delicate signs (and even be asymptomatic), so-called average signs of COVID-19 can nonetheless be terrifying and traumatic, and extreme signs are an emergency. I’ve no means thought that COVID-19 was just like the flu and have carried out sufficient analysis for well being articles I’ve written to know of the harm it could actually do to the physique, together with the incidents of organ harm, the danger of experiencing “long-hauler” signs and the rising physique of proof that the virus might trigger psychosis in some people.  

I’ve additionally had a variety of illness development with my RA this previous 12 months with out therapy, and my physique has begun to indicate indicators of everlasting joint harm, which can’t be reversed. That is why part of me has wished to only “get it over with” in hope that it wouldn’t be extreme for me. 

In the end, I hoped that had been I to contract it, that COVID-19 would really feel flu-like for me as a result of I’m in my 30s and never thought of excessive threat. 

Though I used to be cautious and doing my greatest to comply with security tips, I contracted the coronavirus in mid-December. 

Battling COVID-19 was utterly totally different than I had imagined as a result of the signs had been in contrast to something I’ve ever skilled. Sure, there was a fever, a cough that felt deep and ominous, and excessive muscle aches and fatigue, nevertheless it was a lot greater than that… and it was nothing just like the flu. 

Generally I fearful that my physique was shedding the battle. I feared going to sleep at night time. What if I awakened gasping for breath or I didn’t get up in any respect?

What I didn’t count on, and nothing may have ready me for, was the chest ache and strain and the unrelenting feeling that I wasn’t getting sufficient oxygen. It made me really feel like crawling out of my pores and skin, like I used to be going mad. I may inform that my physique was operating on all cylinders, combating an invader that was overseas and relentless. 

Generally I fearful that my physique was shedding the battle. I feared going to sleep at night time. What if I awakened gasping for breath or I didn’t get up in any respect? COVID-19 isn’t only a bodily illness, it could actually additionally trigger a variety of anxiousness. 

I used to be given a pamphlet once I obtained examined. It had an inventory of warning indicators to be careful for, itemizing signs similar to bluish lips or face, an lack of ability to wake or keep awake. My lips weren’t blue, and I may take a deep breath, however I nonetheless felt like my physique wasn’t getting sufficient oxygen. I couldn’t take various steps with out turning into extraordinarily weak and dizzy, the world spinning round me. 

was in that unusual place of being very unwell however perhaps not fairly sick sufficient to go to the hospital. I additionally didn’t comprehend it on the time, however your physique will be dangerously low on oxygen with out experiencing basic indicators, similar to gasping for breath.  

Though a steroid I had available for rheumatoid arthritis helped ease my signs quickly, the chest strain and battle for oxygen simply saved coming again, and it made me surprise what sort of harm this fixed onslaught of irritation might be inflicting me internally.

My physique was combating an all-out warfare, and though I may inform I used to be getting slightly higher every day, the stress of the battle on my immune system brought about me to develop shingles about two weeks after testing optimistic for COVID-19. Shingles was depressing, however not almost as scary because the coronavirus. 

We frequently hear about dying charges pertaining to this virus, however that doesn’t inform the entire story. There aren’t any ensures with this virus, and there’s no strategy to know for positive how your physique will react to it. This doesn’t imply that we must always reside in worry however somewhat that we must always reside with consideration of others, doing our greatest to guard essentially the most susceptible and ourselves from contracting this virus. COVID-19 ought to no means be dismissed as being the flu or like every other sickness that people are aware of. 

I’m so very grateful to be alive, however I don’t really feel utterly “recovered.” To at the present time, eight weeks after receiving a optimistic take a look at, I nonetheless can’t final on an elliptical machine greater than 10 to 15 minutes with out getting chest ache. My endurance has dropped dramatically. I battle with lingering chest ache, shortness of breath, fatigue and different unusual signs, similar to dry mouth and insomnia. Sadly, with COVID, “recovered” doesn’t at all times imply “returned to good well being.” 

Whereas our household was in quarantine, a toddler in our neighborhood wished to play with our son, and he or she banged on the door relentlessly till my husband yelled the opposite aspect that we now have COVID-19. 

“COVID is bogus!” she yelled again.

 “No, it’s not!” my husband replied. It’s actual, and for many individuals, it feels nothing just like the flu. I discovered this the arduous means.  

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